Sunday's college picks: Let's play two!

After beginning the year with five consecutive winning selections, yesterday's 2-3 mark was a bit disappointing. But it wasn't disastrous and, with two rare Sunday games today, I've a chance to get two of those losses back quickly. Again, I'm a bit pressed for time today, so there won't be lengthy write-ups.

So, here's what we've got:

Kentucky at Louisville (-3): Some say this season will see marked improvement in Louisville and noticable decline in Kentucky. Not sure I buy that. Despite Andre Woodson's departure, the 'Cats still have some offensive weapons in WR Dicky Lyons Jr. and RB Tony Dixon. Of course, Louisville can score, too, as senior QB Hunter Cantwell finally takes over the reigns. The difference is defense. Kentucky has one. Louisville has yet to prove that they do. I'm taking the SEC Club --- Kentucky --- and the points.

Colorado (-11.5) at Colorado State: I just can't see this one being as close as last year's overtime shootout in Boulder. Colorado's squad is more experienced than it was in 2007 and the Buffs signed an impressive class in the offseason, led by running back Darrell Scott out of California. I'm gonna lay the 11.5 and go with Ralphie.

YESTERDAY: 2-3
SEASON TO DATE: 7-3

Good luck on ya! Don't blame me!

The War Damn Review: Auburn 34, Louisiana-Monroe 0

There was a lot of excitement in Auburn today.

Much of it centered on a hunger to see Auburn's new fast-paced spread offense. Yes, we got a taste in last year's bowl game vs. Clemson, but today was our chance to see it after almost a year of its installation.

Or not.

It seemed that Auburn began the game in a full-bore spread. But the passing game was completely ineffective. So Auburn kept the fast-paced tempo, but turned largely to its running game and defense --- the best Auburn defense ever? --- to dismiss Lousiana-Monroe 34-0.

So what did we learn? Not much, but there were a few things:

1. The 2008 Auburn defense is very good. Marks, Goggans, Blackmon, Johnson, Powers, Thorpe, Bynes, etc., are stellar. Kudos to Paul Rhoads.

2. [PREDICTION ALERT] Southern Miss will not score vs. Auburn.

3. I'm convinced now. Ben Tate is Auburn's best running back. Unless it's Eric Smith.

4. Of the freshmen, two stood out: Smith and Nieko Thorpe can play!

5. Kodi Burns leads the Auburn quarterback race. Notice that I didn't say he should be Auburn's quarterback. I'm not sure we'll be able to comfortably answer that one until after the Mississippi State game.

Overall, I have some concerns about the offense. I have none about the defense. But an easy 34-0 win over good Sunbelt team is nothing to sneeze at. Nor should letters be written home.

Here's hoping we know more after next week.

The ACC: Already Choked Conference

East Carolina 27, Virginia Tech 22.
USC 52, Virginia 7.
Alabama 34, Clemson 10.

RIP, ACC.

Cah-ruisin' at 5-0!

Yep.

Five and oh.

Love those hooters!

Owls, that is, both Temple and Rice!

So here are the picks for Saturday. It's late and I've got to get up early and head to a certain college football town, so there are no write-ups.

Guess you'll just have to trust me!

Here are Saturday's picks:

Ohio at Wyoming (-12.5): Take Ohio and the points ... LARGE!
Washington at Oregon (-13.5): Take Oregon and lay the points!
Mississippi State (-7.5) at Louisiana Tech: Take Mississippi State and lay 'em!
Hawaii at Florida (-34.5): Number's too big. Take Hawaii and the points.
Florida Atlantic at Texas (-23.5): Florida Atlantic's pretty good. I'll take FAU and the 23.5.

Good luck on ya! Don't blame me!

3-0 and Owly all over!

You all may not know this about me, but I'm actually quite an emotional guy. So, last night, when the horn sounded the end of the SCocks 34-0 throttlin' (in the second half, anyway) of NC State and I felt that warm wave of your collective gratitude pass through me, I was deeply moved.

So moved that I, in fact, wept!

Then I remembered what Tom Hanks once told me: "There's no crying in handicapping!"

So I dried those sissified tears, unduly chastised myself and realized I was acting like a girly man. So, do me a favor: No more collective waves of warmth, okay?

Anyhow, yes, I did hit on all three selections last night as Turner Gill proved that he is indeed the bastard son of Tom Osborne, Troy realized there was life A.T. (After Tony)and the SCocks found out that Tom Beecher is not an SEC quarterback, but Chris Smelley might be.

But that was last night. That trophy's in the case.

So, what about tonight?

Let's just say I expect a whole lotta hootin'! I like the Owls and the Owls.

Temple at Army, 6 p.m., Michie Stadium, West Point, N.Y. (ESPN Classic): I'll be brief.

Army doesn't not suck. In fact, the Cadets suck fairly loudly. They return only 11 starters from a bad team.

Temple, under Al Golden, appears to be on the bounceback. Sure, the Owls won only four last year, but consider that starting QB Adam DiMichele (who is back) missed the team's last five games. He has two nice targets in Bruce Francis and Dy'onne "I put that apostrophe randomly in the middle of my name just to piss you all off" Crudup. Jason Harper is a capable runner and nosetackle Andre Neblett anchors a defense that was the best in the MAC last year.

Finally, Temple wants revenge for a 37-21 loss to Army last season. They get it. Easily. So don't be shy! Take Temple -7 and lay down a healthy bundle.

SMU at Rice (-3.5), 7 p.m., Rice Stadium, Houston, Texas (ESPN): One thing I know for certain about this one: As I watch it tonight, June Jones is gonna look awful weird stalking the sidelines sans loud Hawaiian shirt and lei. Still, June got to chuck all the gimmicky Hawaiian stuff and $2 mil a year to boot. Hell. I would have left Honolulu, too. Can't surf anyway.

I respect Jones as a coach. I expect him to make great strides at SMU. I don't expect a lot this year. He'll start a true freshman at quarterback, either Bo Levi Mitchell (Now that's a Texas name, huh?) or Braden Smith. In truth, he returns about 10 starters and the Mustangs' two-deep includes 13 true freshman. The offensive line play must improve. The defense was horrendous last year, giving up more than 500 yards a game.

Rice won only three last year (to SMU's one), but it does return 16 starters, including a fine pass-catch combination in quarterback Chase Clement and wideout Jarrett Dillard. James Casey is also explosive (and a fine student, too) and, though he'll start at the Y receiver, they'll use him all over the field. The Rice D, like SMU, struggled last year. The difference in these two teams is experience (Advantage Rice) and offensive potential (Advantage Rice). Throw in that Rice is also the home team and I like it. Don't mortgage your house, but the Owls are worth a unit or two. Take Rice and lay the 3.5.

So, to sum up, give a hoot and take the loot!

RECORD TO DATE: 3-0
WINNINGS TO DATE: $300 (based on a $100 wager per game and 10 percent juice.)

Good luck on ya! Don't blame me!

Is that a hat or a Stabler-sized stadium cup?

Remember that God-awful inflatable hat the Tahd Nation rolled onto the Bryant-Denney turf at halftime of AU's 9-0 win in Tuscaloosa in 2000?

I never thought I'd see anything to top that.

This does.

And, soon, it'll top the stadium!

Folks, you couldn't make up this stuff!

Three Thursday winners!

In the immortal words of Rod Stewart, "Tonight's the night!"

Yes, I know Barack Obama accepts the Democratic Party's nomination for president tonight, but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about that oblong leather ball that college men pitch to and fro --- knocking each other senseless all the while --- for the glory of their alma maters.

It's college freakin' football, friends, and tonight it gets going for real!

And what's college football, really, unless you wager a buck or two? So, having developed a reputation as being reasonably knowledgeable with regard to college football and the so-called "line", I'll be here over the course of the year as your tour guide to new-found riches.

Or not.

And, of course and as always, the following information is for news matter only.

I've got three games I like tonight:

UTEP at Buffalo (-3), 6 p.m., University of Buffalo Stadium, Buffalo, N.Y.: A couple of teams coached by guys with names better-known than their football programs get the party started tonight in upstate New York when Mike "It's Rollin', Baby!" Price brings his UTEP Miners to visit Turner "Tom Osborne's Love Child" Gill and Buffalo. I like the home-standing Bulls in this spot for a variety of reasons, including that it's a long trip from El Paso to Buffalo. Plus, UB returns 18 starters, including 10 on an offense led by QB Drew Willy, who, with his first pass completion tonight, will become UB's all-time career leader in that category --- not that that's any real great accomplishment. Still, the Bulls rebounded from a 1-4 start last year to finish 5-7 while Mike Price --- though he has weathered his date with Destinee in a Pensacola, Fla., strip club and, on the whole, improved the Miners' football fortunes --- saw his team collapse, losing its last six games after starting the year 4-2. Two teams headed in opposite directions. The team on its way up is the home team hosting an opponent from far away. It's a small number. Take the Bulls and lay the three.

Troy (-6.5) at Middle Tennessee, 6:30 p.m., Johnny "Red" Floyd Stadium, Murfreesboro, Tenn.: Yeah, yeah, I know. Troy lost a lot of really fine offensive players and, more importantly, its hotshot offensive coordinator, Tony Franklin, took his fast-paced spread to the bigger stage in Auburn. Doesn't matter. Neal Brown, the Trojans' new OC, studied at Franklin's knee and should be more than capable of keeping the Trojans' schemes intact and effective. Plus, the offensive line returns en masse and Troy has never had a dearth of quality athletes. Meanwhile, to put it as simply as possible, Rick Stockstill's MTSU squad doesn't not suck (Well, maybe I could have put it a little more simply!). Take Troy and lay the 6.5. One note: Keep your eye on Troy's Jerrell Jernigan tonight. He's a potential star.

North Carolina State at South Carolina (-14), 7 p.m., Williams-Brice Stadium, Columbia, S.C.: Pity the poor Wolfpack. The Ol' Ball Coach has had months to work on a gameplan and the visitors return only 10 starters from last year's 5-7 squad. Both teams start rookie quarterbacks --- SC's Tom Beecher and NC State's Russell Wilson --- but that's where the similarities end. The Pack has no equivalent to SC's MLB Jasper Brinkley or Gamecock wideout Kenny McKinley, both players that can take over a game on their respective sides of the ball. I don't expect this to be close. Take South Carolina and lay the 14. And don't be a cheap-ass schmuck! Play it large!

Good luck on ya. Don't blame me!

Isn't this special?

Football and ... haiku? Only the Tahd Nation!

"As long as we have Jimmy Johns ..."

Bourbon in a ziplock bag

It's almost here.

A new college football season --- the 2008 model --- kicks off tomorrow night. The anticipation is palpable and I wonder what wonders the new season might bring.

Vivid memories of college --- and, in particular, Auburn --- football date back 40 years or so now. Granted, there are a few foggy frames in the cerebral footage. Many of them clouded by bourbon in a ziplock bag.

It was the early 1980s. I was a college kid at AU. Smuggling liquor into the game was required. We were always open to new and better ways to hide our hooch. So a good friend of mine, one Tony Nafe, said he'd heard that some folks poured their liquor in a ziplock bag and stuffed it in their pants.

"Great, Tony! Give that a whirl and let us know how it turns out!"

He did. 

Mississippi State at Auburn. Homecoming 1981. Pat Dye's first Auburn squad entered 3-3 and everyone thought we could take the Bulldogs. 

But first we had to take the bourbon. For that, we turned to Tony and his new Ziplock Method.

Not the greatest decision we ever made (And, believe me, our crew --- Weeks, O, Nafe, Copenhaver and me --- made some bad ones back in the day!). I know that people still use ziplocks for gameday smuggling, but I must assume that there have been technological improvements in the zipping locks. For on this slightly rainy Saturday, I'll never forget hearing Tony's violent burst of expletives as the bag burst and his pants soaked up more bourbon than a Lynchburg cask. 

At halftime, we tried to get Tony to wring his pants out to spike our Cokes. 

He respectfully declined.

So we had to watch the second half of AU's 21-17 loss to State stone-cold sober.

Ah, the memories!

Let's kick this mofo OFF!